Mat Hoards Some Cookies That He Should Have Shared
by Alarun
Summary: Mat lovers beware--this may sting. I had to write this for Communications class, and it's about etiquette...


I had to write an essay on etiquette for my Communications class last semester. I, having lent this teacher my copy of Eye of the World last summer --she enjoyed it and added it to the reading list, by the way :o) -- decided to write a short story instead.  
  
She hasn't yet read any of the other books of the series, and I couldn't possibly give away anything that happened in the later books, so I changed it to my own delight.  
  
Oh, I got an A on it, if you were curious...  
  
Mat lovers beware, this may sting....  
  
  
  
"Mat Hoards Some Cookies That He Should Have Shared"  
  
  
  
"Hello, would you like to buy some Girl Scout cookies?" Sweetly smiled the little Brownie Girl Scout at the gate of Matrim Cauthon's castle.  
  
Mat was about to dismiss the little blonde-haired girl, but he then realized how much he loved Girl Scout cookies. Egwene had always gone around the Two Rivers, selling them for her troop.  
  
"Okay, Little Girl. I'll buy two boxes of thin mints, and one of peanut butter." Dishing out nine dollars, he nostalgically bade farewell to the Brownie and, the dice rolling in his head yet again, ran upstairs to his room before his dinner-guests came.  
  
Once he got to his bedroom, the doorbell rang yet again. Mat opened the box of peanut butter cookies and stuffed five or six into his mouth, and then he hhid the tantalizing treats under his bed, lest he should have to share them with his friends.  
  
Everybody knows that sharing is over-rated anyway. More for me.  
  
Mat grinned at where the cookies were hiding, and trotted back downstairs to get the door, chewing as he ran.  
  
Rand al'Thor and his date Lanfear, Lews Therin "Kinslayer" Telamon and his date Egwene al'Vere, were waiting patiently at the door when Mat opened it.  
  
"Blood and bloody ashes! Lanfear! What are you doing here as Rand's date!? You're four ages older than him!" Mat exclaimed, arms flailing wildly.  
  
Lanfear blushed, and Rand told her that he still loved her.  
  
%%%%  
  
Dinner was a little bit late because Mat forgot to tell the servants that guests were coming. Salad was the first course. Mat picked up his cherry- tomatoes with his fingers and dipped them in salad dressing before stuffing three or four into his mouth. The four guests looked on in dismay, because they hadn't gotten any cherry-tomatoes.  
  
Second course consisted of split pea soup--Mat's favorite. None of the four guests liked split pea soup, so they talked amongst themselves as Mat slurped his soup loudly and drank it from the side of the bowl.  
  
Then they dined on their third course, BBQ ribs. Lanfear was a vegetarian, so Mat ate hers. After he finished--for he finished much faster than the other four--he burped and walked out of the room, heading upstairs.  
  
"Mat?" Rand called, wondering where he was going.  
  
"Ugh, oh, um, I'm just going to the bathroom..." Mat kept walking up the stairs.  
  
"I think the Dark One's gotten to him," Lews Therin whispered to Egwene, as Rand noticed that the bathroom wasn't upstairs.  
  
Once he had gotten to his room, Mat dove into the cookies and began stuffing them into his mouth with zeal.  
  
Rand followed Mat up the stairs, determined to find out what had gotten into Mat--fervently hoping that it wasn't another Forsaken, because his girlfriend Lanfear was enough to handle. Mat's door was closed, so he knocked.  
  
The knocking startled Mat, who jumped and began choking on his cookies. Unfortunately, he had locked his door and Rand couldn't get in to help him. Mat decided to give himself the heimleic by jumping off of the bed and landing back first on the floor. This worked, but it also rendered him unconscious.  
  
Rand, Lanfear, Lews and Egwene left Mat's castle, because they couldn't find their host.  
  
In the moral of the story ....  
  
"If you don't use proper etiquette, you'll always have to eat by yourself." 


End file.
